Baby Boomer balance has everything to do with alignment and walking our talk.

How many times in your life have you verbally committed to doing something and then reneged at some point because something came up – or the memory and focus of the original conversation faded and became a distant glimmer of muffled sound – like a silhouette of a campfire on the beach against a cliff late at night?

Was it your intention not to follow through? Did you actually make the commitment intending not to follow through?

In a peculiar way, this is the truth.

Recently, on a personal level, I have learned about authenticity – living it, speaking it and looking for it. This ties in directly to other aspects of what I am learning that I would like to share with you. See how it sits with you and maybe it will make sense to you the way it is beginning to in my life.

Lately many aspects of emotion are becoming clear in my life.

What emotion is, for example.

As far back as I can remember, emotion has been something usually associated with discomfort – something to “kind of walk around” or to be cautious about not stirring up the mud in the bottom of the pond, so to speak.

Because there was so much turmoil in my household as a boy, it became easier to avoid emotion than deal with it. As a memory, there is a great deal of fighting and negative emotion throughout much of the childhood experience. So looking back at the chain of events in my own experience, I see that inadvertently, as a young man my “internal” system gradually guided me in the direction of avoiding emotion as a survival tool, because many times this was easier than experiencing the emotion that was available there.

It was not a conscious choice, in retrospect.

And looking at that process, it becomes clear to me that a great deal of my subsequent experience around emotion was either directly – or indirectly – linked to the that “unconscious choice” so many years ago.

What is interesting about this scenario is that I have always been a highly sensitive human being with an singular sense of fairness and equity that has always been a major part of my personality. Being a “Cancer” with a heavy emphasis on emotion, this aspect has often been a double edged sword for me.

More often than not, I felt more than the others around me did. Many times it created a situation where I really felt like an outcast – the weirdo, the odd one – that got messages and direction that nobody else seemed to understand – or be aware of. At the age where peer approval was so important to a young man, this was often troubling and confusing. And yet on a certain level, I really didn’t care what they thought either. I rarely listened to what other people had to say.

Talk about confusion…

So here I am as a teenager:

• becoming a master of avoiding emotion while simultaneously
• being highly sensitive to the energy and emotion around me
• angry and aloof – getting tons of “downloads” encrypted in a language that only I seemed to understand

So back to the “truth” of not intending to follow commitments – of having intentions NOT to honor commitments we make – even though we are verbally nodding our heads.

In 2005, at a Peak Potentials Wizard Camp (a 5 day intensive seminar not to far from Whistler, BC) I had an epiphany. I learned first hand what commitment means. This took place in the form of a direct experience – but also, I actually saw commitment with my own eyes. I have written about this experience in depth in my book so I will not reiterate it here.

I really got something in that experience that I have carried forward with me since and have grown to realize that it affects everything we do in life – all the time.

To summarize, this is it:
Commitment does not exist in the cosmos as ‘partial’. It is all or nothing. We are either 100% committed or we are not committed. There is no such thing as “sort of committed”.

This is the crux of the theme of this post: Baby Boomer Balance.

Lately, as a I mentioned earlier, many aspects of “emotion” are becoming clear to me.

1. I have recently heard this: emotions are the way that God speaks to us.
2. Emotions are the internal guide posts that empower us to choose the right decision.
3. Emotions have nothing to do with pain or fear – both of which stem from our reaction to what our emotions are telling us – rather than what is actually being said.
4. Most of us avoid experiencing emotion like the plague because in much of our experience, when we feel emotion, we feel pain – so we associate it with pain.
5. Emotions are tools to guide us in the decision process. That decision process is very simple: Does this choice feel good? Or does this choice not feel good?

When we pull this understanding into our daily life as an operating tool, emotions make it easy to decide what to do. Esther Hicks and Abraham always talk about “going upstream or going downstream”.

I am learning how simple this is – but it took a long time for me to “get it”.

I am learning to use this tool frequently throughout the day. Any time I start to feel agitation about something I am hearing, or about something I am thinking or a choice I am about to make, I ask myself:

Does this feel upstream or downstream? If I get the feeling that the “thing” is upstream ( a choice that will take me into a situation that will mean “fighting my way upstream”), I choose consciously not to do that thing, or say those words or go that direction. No explanation, no argument and no rhetoric.

If this thing makes me feel “downstream” – like flowing with the current and really going with the flow, that is the choice I make. I find that as soon as I identify internally what feels good and what feels downstream, all sense of agitation and discomfort – in the bottom of my stomach immediately fades away and I feel good.

What a cool way to deal with emotion. It now becomes a tool for choosing our path and for making decisions all the time. And it is so simple – as long as we just listen and do not resist or react.

Now more about balance…

I am finding that living our truth is all about balance.

To be authentic we must live our truth. That means we can not go against what we know is right within us. In other words, we must always choose what feels downstream in order to follow “what feels right for us”. Any time we make a choice other than this, it means that we are making a choice out of alignment with who we are.

Maybe this is to please others whom we admire and whose approval we are seeking. Maybe we want a different outcome to be our reality so we think that if we ignore that “feeling” it will come out the way we really want it to happen.

The truth is that we can only make choices in alignment with our “authenticity” if we want to be authentic. Nothing else makes sense. The interesting part is that as soon as we choose this, everybody else around us identifies our authenticity and starts to respect it.

Now how does commitment fit into this picture?

It is very simple yet subtle – much in the same way how easy it is to choose “upstream or downstream”. Yet, perhaps commitment is one of the most misunderstood concepts in modern society at this point. Truly most of us think we are committed when we are not.

Because being committed means that no matter what we will follow through. It means our word is our bond, it is an extension of our truth and it is a big part of being authentic.

How is this so?

If we are truly being authentic, we follow through on our commitments because when we are following our inner truth, we only commit to those things that make us feel “downstream:” We choose what is right for us at all times and we choose to be in the flow.

When we are authentic, we are choosing that which is alignment with our higher self – which also means we are choosing that which is in alignment with the part of us which is Divine.

When we are authentic, we only agree to commit to anything that we choose to be in alignment with. What this means, therefore, is that it is really ok to say NO.

Simply go inside and ask yourself: If I commit to this does it make me feel downstream or upstream? Then base your commitment on that feeling – one way or the other.

If we commit to something and we do not follow through, either we were not being authentic when we entered into the commitment, or we are not being true to ourselves when we do not follow through to that commitment.

We are the leaders for future generations. What happens is our responsibility. How can we lead these kids and guide the flow “downstream” in the bigger picture if we are not committed to our principles, our values and our integrity?

And how can we expect those who are so desperately needing our leadership to believe us and follow our direction if:

• our walk is not in alignment with our talk and
• if we are not being authentic

We cannot expect them to listen because it will not feel “downstream” to them. And they will blow us off.

We have a chance to make a real change as we head into the magnificent transition into the new paradigm that is coming.

Commit to your own alignment and your Baby Boomer Balance.
Being in alignment is a big part of Baby Boomer Balance as well as a major ingredient in Baby Boomer Health. Coming to grips with these issues are not only a component of who were are becoming as leaders, it is also a big part of choosing emotional cleansing and self esteem on a conscious level – instead of an unconscious one.

Are you ready to see it all in a different light and quit fighting the inevitable – upstream?

I am.

Blessings.

Michael Barrett